A while back, I had been reading my local newspaper when I came across a story about a white woman who was working as a waitress and had some young men make a racial slur about her black boyfriend (https://ashlynsully.wordpress.com/2014/12/22/i-am-not-dating-a-racial-slur/). This issue is near and dear to my heart, since I am married to an amazing man who also happens to be black. I do not usually reply to these things, but I felt like I had to. Below is what I told her then, and what I believe to be true still.
“I read about this in my local newspaper, and I wanted to respond to it. You are not dating a racial slur, and I am not married to one, but this is the world we live in. There will be some people who will look at the two of you and see black and white while others will see two people in love. When my husband and I first started dating, I would notice all of the people staring at us, there was even once we went to a church where they blatantly stared at us, and it unnerved me so much that a place of God did that I actually didn’t start returning regularly to church until recently. I no longer care whether others stare at us instead I welcome it, because they might actually learn something. I want them to see the love we have for each other. I want them to see this amazing man who is smart, kind, funny, attentive, loving, a great father, hard working, helpful, and yes has brown skin. One day if the two of you ever have children, you will also have to deal with having an amazing child which brings on another level of staring and questions. Is that child yours? What is he/she? Where is the father? All of these I have been asked at one point or another, but I just smile and answer their questions without asking them what is wrong with them. An important lesson I learned awhile back that helps me through these moments is that you cannot change how they act, but you can change how you respond to it. Just show them the love you have for each other and perhaps they will see that instead of black and white, but you should never let it change the way you feel for each other. Good luck on your journey in your relationship. I wish you the best of luck. From, A Colorful Family of Love”
P.S. What do you think about this issue?